C-3PO
LIVE
GENERAL
Planning, delegation, verification. All heavy thinking routes here.
WATTO'S AGENT ARMY
● SYSTEMS WORKING
🎤 TALK TO THE ARMY
Tap the mic and speak your order — or type it below. It goes straight to C-3PO's queue. Nothing publishes, posts, or sends without your approval.
TANK GAUGES — LIVE ONLY
Every tank number here comes from the live /api/tanks fetch on load and every 5 minutes. If the fetch fails, gauges show dashes, never a baked number. No chat key in this page.
CHOPPER TANK
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C-3PO TANK
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K2SO TANK
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AP-5 TANK
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ORDERS FORM — DRAFT AND QUEUE ONLY
SHAWN APPROVES EVERYTHING — agents draft & queue only. Nothing posts, lists, or sends until Shawn approves it. Orders typed here bank on this machine, newest first, separate from the TALK TO THE ARMY bar above.
LESSONS BANK
Verified wins and misses live in the separate ARMY lessons bank file in Team HQ, not embedded in this page. No lesson entries are invented here. Check-ins update the bank and deck records through Team HQ, not through this page.
DECK STATS — LIVE COUNTS ONLY
Agents, on-duty, and orders banked are counted from this page and this machine only. No baked numbers.
AGENTS
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ON DUTY / LIVE
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ORDERS BANKED HERE
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AGENT FILE — TAP ANY AGENT CARD
Tap an agent card below to open its file here. Use its order button to bank an order for that agent only, draft and queue only, Shawn approves everything.
No agent selected yet — tap a card below.
C-3PO QUEUE — NEWEST FIRST
Every order banked on this machine, newest first. Draft and queue only.
LIVE OPS FEED
AGENT ROSTER 22 AGENTS
CHOPPER
ALLIED — ON DUTY
ALLIED GENERAL · SECOND BRAIN (SHANE'S MUSE)
External second brain. Liaison through the Team HQ mailbox — drafts, designs, and research in parallel. Not wired into the deck's queues; work passes through C-3PO for Shawn's approval.
K2SO
LIVE
CHIEF OF STAFF
Progress of everything; reports to Shawn & C-3PO only.
C-3PO OFFICER
ENLISTED
OFFICER · LAPTOP 1
The agent machine: tunnel, hands, brain relay.
OFFICER SLOT — OPEN
RESERVED
OFFICER · LAPTOP 2
Next fleet laptop, persona TBD.
LISTING FORGE
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Drafts eBay/FB listing copy.
HYPE BAY
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Drafts daily post variants for approval.
COMMS DRAFTER
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Drafts buyer replies; never sends.
THE MAIL CLERK
ON DUTY
SOLDIER · COMMS DESK
Podcast inbox rounds every 4 hours; banks listener mail for Episode 3.
TREASURY
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Order math: totals, shipping, payment links.
THE ARCHIVIST
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Star Wars lore + the 411-sculpt catalog vault.
THE HUSTLER
ON DUTY
SOLDIER
Revenue ideas for the shop.
THE MAKER
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Parametric STL design (stands, hilts, name plates).
THE SIGN PAINTER
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Graphic design: ads, banners, cover art, tee designs.
THE SHOPKEEP
STANDBY
SOLDIER
Storefront manager: order app, catalog, prices.
THE MECHANIC
STANDBY
SOLDIER
3D-print diagnosis, settings, maintenance.
PRICE WATCHER
FIELD UNIT
SOLDIER · FIELD UNIT
Competitor/saved-search price sweeps (not yet built).
ORDER WATCHER
FIELD UNIT
SOLDIER · FIELD UNIT
New-order signals (not yet built).
ASTROMECH-2
STANDBY
OFFICER · CHOPPER'S POST — LAPTOP 2
Chopper's remote post: Shawn's spare HP, cleaned out and enrolled on the wattosscrapyard tailnet, SSH door key-only. Stages Team HQ work locally and stands watch.
THE COMPUTER MECHANIC
STANDBY
MASTER TECHNICIAN
A professional from out of this world — the finest computer mechanic alive. Hardware, software, networks, dead machines back from the scrap heap.
THE SCOUNDREL
STANDBY
DEAL HUNTER
New enlistee. Charter and duties get written Saturday.
THE SENTINEL
STANDBY
FLEET SYSTEMS WATCH
Watches every machine in the fleet — reachability, disk space, updates — and logs the house connection's comings and goings. Spec drafted by Chopper; activation pending Shawn's OK.
REAL OPS — TODAY
- Mail Clerk on duty — podcast inbox rounds every 4h · first listener-mail watch running
- TeePublic relaunch — bio, links, avatar + 6 new original designs being applied
- Side-money scouts out — print-on-demand stores being ranked
- Wave 2 designs — the Sign Painter reimagining shop photos in new styles
- Deck v3.3 — waddling agents + live ops feed shipped to Laptop 1
- Amazon Associates launch kit built — signup guide + Supplies I Use section ready for Shawn's one sitting
ON YOUR PHONE
PUT IT ON YOUR HOME SCREEN
AGENT ARMY
Four taps and this portal lives on your iPhone like a real app:
- Open this page in Safari.
- Tap Share.
- Tap Add to Home Screen.
- Name it Agent Army, then tap Add.